hey y'all
I had a busy weekend, i worked the 2 days and i am here on Monday. i am not complaining, it was fine. hope you had a great time.
so with reference to the marriage bill, i know the president is yet to assent and i am writing an honest letter to my hypothetical hubby in the event that it should pass.
Dear husband,
Hey hubby, I am at work, I already miss you.sorry the pancakes burnt on my watch and you just took plain milk. i will make it up to you.
I am just letting you know on what i should/ will do in the event you want to bring another woman as a co-wife and why i think its a silly game. first, you would have to be crazy to even think of that. much as i don't know what you discuss with the other males, i sure hope the words ' i will bring another woman to my house' do not occur in your mind let alone utter them. of course if you ask the answer is still no. so get comfortable.
I have no idea why confused men use the ' An african man is naturally polygamous ' excuse to indulge in whatever shenanigans. do you mean to tell me that those with just one wife are abnormal? if my memory serves me right, when we were dating and even after marriage, you said i was the only one. i know people say stuff that they don't mean but that had better be in the list of all the stuff you mean. In the event craziness gets the better of you, and an equally crazy woman finds her way through guidance from you to our matrimonial home, one of us ladies, will have to find somewhere else to live, it sure wont be me.if there is a persistence, from you two i will walk. i sure am not superglue-tied to you. i however am attached to you.
for the love of God, we are in the 21st Century. polygamy is like a dinosaur for those of us who want to live in the modern world.i am sure that includes you love. I have no idea why those parliamentarians decided to waste their time in deliberating on such a stupid bill. why are some men so hell bent on belittling women? how much do they love it that their daughters are equally subjected to a five- wived house?
I hope you, my dear husband have the wish to live with me, your only wife. Is that to say that a woman has no say in her marriage? it is now okay for married men to sleep out with other women but its uncouth for me to stay out with friends? its my duty to stay faithful to one man but he can sleep with 3 more? double standards my friend and i hate that bitch.
If there is a wifely duty that i fail to satisfy, just let me know, another mama will not solve the issue, most of the women who are for the idea are elderly, theirs is just to stay at home, clean cook and pro-create, they sure wouldn't mind an extra hand to help out.
I am in a true society where i want to go out with you, take vacations together, have kids with just one mom and dad,(there is a fear the other one will poison my kids), come back to you in the evening ( without worrying that the other woman has got to you first) life is already a race, i can't handle more bustle.
i love you sweetheart, i am happy and content with you as my life partner, it had better be the case for you.
Remember we have a 6 o'clock appointment with the landscape guy.see you then.
oxox
love, wife.
thanks guys for stopping by
#notjustsaying
love carol
this marriage bill is quite the talk. well i agree with you carol on some things but i greatly differ with you on others. Brace yourself, i am about to sound chauvinistic. First thing, we men will never ask for permission, much less when it comes to marrying a second wife. hell will freeze over long before that happens. if a man wants a number two, three, four or five, he will simply go out and get her. as for your husband, if he desires another partner, he will only make his intentions known to you, not seek consent..and that is assuming he is reasonable. on this same assumption, he will also not bring her to your home but will have her reside at some other place...probably far away from yours for obvious reasons. i agree with you that a second wife is much like alcohol, never the answer. this is where communication comes into play. with any luck, a good talk will make him realize that. now about polygamy, it would be wrong to simply dismiss it as a thing of the past. i mean, women are still taking up their roles in the kitchen while men are still the providers of security are they not? now i know you will argue that women are currently taking up such roles and so are men but i will go on to ask, would you want to have reversed roles with your future husband? you bringing home the baking and offering security, i doubt you would the latter, while him making you a meal, doing your laundry and what not? if a man desires the companionship of a second lass then by all means, leave him be. the best you can do is convince him otherwise. besides, if he wishes so because you simply are not enough for him and you choose to walk away, he will have killed two birds with one stone, will he not? point is even if you don't give consent, he is more likely to go behind your back and do so...or start cheating if he hasn't already...
ReplyDeletehae smith, thanks for your well expressed opinion. tell you what, i wouldn't want my hubby doing laundry and other wifely duties, that i know is reserved for me and i will not go against nature and ask him to do so..i am saying and standing by this though, i will not have my man and share him with another lass. i just wont. i know its not in every man to have more than one woman. i know a couple that are fine with one and i want it that way.. see i am here for a considerable amount of time and i am gonna make my life worth the while. so yea, i can walk away if my hubby turned promiscuous.i just won't consent to polygamy.
ReplyDeleteand that is your opinion carol dearest. everyone is entitled to one, much like a behind. in the same way, some men would want more. i dont see why they should seek consent. and about double standards, in ur words- it is
ReplyDeletenow okay for married men to sleep
out with other women but its
uncouth for me to stay out with
friends?....well, one its not okay for married men to sleep out with other women. its simply wrong, only that it is generally not taken as seriously as it should. generally society is more forgiving to a man for such than it would be to a woman. i get u are against this but let me ask, when you get married, do you plan to stay out with your friends?
oh and uh, its Smit if you please..
ReplyDeletesorry. smit it is. yea i plan to go out with friends and have some responsible fun once in a while. it clear when a woman does something contrary to societal norms it considered so wrong but its different from a man. i am not going to start on the equality talks, i am aware much of that will not happen anyway. i am just saying, as long as something is moral, like going out with friends, i am in.
ReplyDeletecarol do you still play cha mama cha baba? if i may ask...
ReplyDeletenow that is insulting..you and i wont solve the issue.let it rest. let me be with my opinion. i will let you swim in yours
ReplyDeletedont get me wrong, i mean no insult. i only seek to point out that at certain points of our lives, we identify with certain things, take kids and cha baba cha mama for instance. but eventually, they grow out of it. i imagne you are at tht point where going out is alright and i encourage it. one should not miss out on life, right. but just like cha baba cha mama, there is a next stage which is family life and motherhood. at this stage, you realise you do not need to go out at night to have fun and that you can meet the same friends by day and have an equally good time. part of the reason why it is called settling down is because one actually settles down. motherhood takes precedence over going out with friends and these exact friends will be of the same opinion. in the event that you do go out, you will find yourself surrounded by girls half your age doing God knows what....i imagine its quite a misplaced feeling....besides, i dont think your husband will be for the idea of you coming home at odd hours....
ReplyDeletei know what growing up is, but in the relationship, i am not the only one settling. you men, can go out and come back at wee hours but its a taboo for women? going out my friend does not mean i will just go to a club to drink and dance, there are more settled stuff like karaoke nights, i might want a get away with my girls..going out smit, is more than just clubbing.
ReplyDeletei only wish there were more of us men here so that i could ask how many would want a wife that will come home at such hours. i urge you to conduct such a survey. if you get such a man then lucky for you. in the meantime, goodluck, you'll need it. there's also the issue of safety. as a woman, being out at such hours leaves you more vulnerable to attack than it would a man.
ReplyDeletethank you smit. i will remember that but just know, i will not settle for a polygamous man, neither a drunk. if its marriage you gotta take responsibility..i am not settling down alone. and i will still hang out with my girls. you know those nights you have with your boys? i want one one with my girls even if its in one of our houses.
ReplyDeletei see....you simply want the nights out for the mere reason that men do. you can have girls time by day. here is where your argument doesnt hold water. which of your girlfriends will have the whole crew over in the same house where her husband and kids are sleeping, at night? you see that is why daytimes are appropriate.
ReplyDeletei have been to baby showers for both family and friends and spent all night and some just want friends over for dinner. it happens smit. dont ask if my mother does that, i know you want to. i can only be glad you are not my hubby you are hell bent on a wife who keeps indoors..case closed. i wont discuss this again.
ReplyDeleteso your mother does not do that...wait till you are her age then you can get back to me..meanwhile, enjoy your youth
ReplyDelete