Bad hosts

hey y'all

So its been like forever since I last posted..Every blogger has those days  or months..anywho I have been great and its awesome to be back.

so, today I want to talk about visitors. not how lovely some are or annoying others are. i will talk about hosts receiving visitors.

A lot has been said about annoying visitors, today i mulika bad hosts from my own light.

I do not get how someone invites you to their homes and treats you like you self-invited.

I only excuse unwell hosts who cant live up to the whole 'Handling visitors 101"

So, you know those homes where being tidy is like a taboo, its a living room but you will confuse it for a mtumba store? sweetie, i know its your comfort zone but try to make a good impression to visitors. Tidy up, that way a visitor feels important.

If you have kids, please control them, kids are as adorable as they are sources of discomfort. most of you can relate  to a situation where kids do 'stuff' and you feel so awkward but cant shout them off. so the host please, if your kids are uncontrollable, keep them at a safe distance from your visitors.one particular one spit on me severally, and i bet the parent was aware of it and dint alleviate the situation.so rude.

If you invite friends for a wedding, funeral or other occasions and especially in unfamiliar grounds, appreciate them supporting you like in funerals, ensure they are served,and see them off. it is plain rude to let them find their own way and if you can't, designate someone to escort them.

You know how we all love food? and how some pretend not to? and how food can be a great source of the most embarrassing moments? now imagine a situation where, your host prepares food, you are hungry, but they don't serve you at the food-hour, it is even worse when they make it a self-service affair, and go ahead to make small servings for themselves. you are as hungry as ever and the food looks so delicious but you can only make a more or less serving to avoid looking like a hog..those are my worst.. I mean, serve the visitor as if they were so hungry and leave it to them to ask for a deduction. I have served people platefuls of good food expecting them to complain, but they dint. imagine the rudeness if i had served them 2 spoonfools..That is so un-African.

As a host, entertain them visitors, you invited them, so live up to it. 

Ask if they need something or are comfortable. Don't ignore them or get so pre-occupied with stuff. it is rude.

I have grown in an environment where visitors are like welcoming the queen, you tidy up, make nice food, make sure they eat to their fill (give them dishes to carry extra) I think its only fair I get an almost equal share if not the whole package.

I hope this converts a bad host to a hospitable one.

Feel free to add some more annoying host behavior.

#Notjustsaying#

love, Carol

Men, This is what women want

hey y'all

I am sorry i have been M.I.A for a while now.a blogger does have those moments.maaan, it feels good to just know you have content to share. its therapeutic like I always saw.

I just had to share these hilarious pics and I have taken it upon myself to give a summary.

so this is mostly for men, but women can also contribute or for the most part agree with me.

 Men, You can thank me later. Women maybe a little complicated. Yes, a little. We know what we want and no, it is not the wide world.

I am more than willing to help you men in cracking the nut on what we want. I know, I am such a darling. It is very simple. This is vital, we like being ogled at and we even like it more if you can’t have us. Okay, at times. A little struggle to nail us just makes us feel worthy.

If you claim to like us, you have to show interest and pay attention. We like attention and respect: but the degree varies. For some, you have to keep checking on them. For others, once in a while is just fine. Respect though, has to be at an all time high.

Women don’t mind a little treat. A picnic here, some shopping there, a quite dinner sometimes.(you can still have your night out with the boys)..pssst! Between me and you, I am well versed on video games. Some games. Okay, that was not so relevant.

If men complain, it’s called  whining and it’s annoying. If women complain so much, its um…er… its allowed. Okay, sorry, even I know that’s a lie. But men kindly don’t keep whining about every little thing. Be it how boring your job is, some of us have interesting jobs (my boss should read this). Oh and your mum too, we don’t want to always bump into her while at your place. If you are still living with your mama and you are as old as Jesus was when starting his ministry, that’s a discussion for another day.

If you appreciate my new hair-do, you are sweet, if you can correct me in private, the better. you are best if you can skillfully steal kisses from me. I am not the hottest thing that ever walked planet earth; but ogling at other women especially in my presence is akin to spitting in my tea; if we are exclusive.

Women need to tie something to their heads to maintain our hairdos. Okay, okay we will look for a bearable headgear. We appreciate a clean-shaven man. Hairs can be cruel you know.

Women like hues and shopping too. Not necessarily from high end stores, but some have to get theirs from there. Why do we need twenty pairs of shoes? I just explained we appreciate hues and variety too. Don’t say you don’t like it when we are glamoured up.

and just like men, women too want great sex.( i was prompted by women to write that)

Like someone said ,a man who is respectful, funny, confident, faithful,  has a hobby besides bar hopping,  can keep his pants zipped up and does not have babies all over town, makes a perfect male specimen.

I speak for women of my specimen, additions are allowed. Like I said, it is really simple. Now ladies and gentlemen, feel free to generously tip me. 

#Notjustsaying.

let me know what y'all think

love Carol.

Lessons learnt

hey y'all

"Maturity comes with age, sometimes age comes alone" ( i don't remember the writer)

clearly i have grown and matured, i can happily say my maturity came with my age and its not until after High School that i became more conscious of the changes happening in my life.

For instance, i found myself telling every high school kid i know to 'soma kwa/na nguvu'. it just comes naturally.

I know it is okay to say no to stuff you don't want.

Fight for what is right. if everyone does wrong, it does not make it right.

you can choose to follow your own path even if different from everyone else.

There comes a time when people fall out, your friends move out, others just shush and you lose contact for life.
  family is very colossal.
  
you can move on from old friends if there is nothing to hold on to anymore.

That you might find yourself doing stuff you don't want but which is vital e.g working your ass off a job that does not not pay, at least not monetary-wise.

Misfortunes are very real and the real meaning of 'it does not rain, it pours'. problems will pay you a long visit sometimes and you have to deal with them, sometimes on your own.

For the larger %age, you are responsible for your own happiness.

Take it easy on your life. do not stress unnecessarily, let go once in a while, let the wind blow your hair freely as you close your eyes and feel the sensation (has a deeper meaning). in the absence of long hair, close your eyes and spread your arms

have fun in life.

never regret anything. if its happened, it has.it ain gonna reverse. 

for your own good, learn to save. money of course

 Be responsible for what God provides you with, your job, your family..you will answer to Him.

Everyday be grateful  that man  is not the giver of life.

There is true love and there is not an equal experience to it.

If you want to be rich, it is very much okay.

People close to you can hurt you, the pain is not as shocking as the act.

we will never be equal. 

Try out new stuff if its bound to make your life better.

Rules can be broken; Once in a while.

we are humans, not programmed machines. mistakes will always happen.

Don't fake it. Be real.Be you, its usually attractive.

Do Not be full of yourself, we have wiser peeps around.pay attention.

My major lesson, imma be here for a considerable period of time, therefore, imma make my stay worth the while.never take shit from people, unless its a matter of life and death.

I am more than glad at how i am turning out to be. just how happy are you with yourself?

I would be happy to know what lessons you have learnt in your life.

Thanks for stopping by. 

#notjustsaying


love, carol
















 

I hate average

hey y"all

so i had this awesome Sunday with peers. such days should just last.. its that day of the week..i can go on and on about how boring it is then i would be so beat by the end..


                                  

My salary is okay, i am comfortable, my boss is a pain but i can manage ( better hope you will not manage for all your life). you know how you wanted to live a nicely comfortable life, you wanted to grow up, earn and go on vacations, own a nice ride and shop all you wanted, have friends over for barbeque, further your studies with your own money, pay off your HELB loan without muuuch struggle (there has to be a struggle), in short; have a bit of life's finest? 

I am at that point of my life. i want all that. i know most people are stuck in boring careers,some in  good careers but they don't give you much return to engage. there is a passion you want to fulfill but keep coming up with excuses, such is human nature, that one thing you want to venture in but the will to initiate the first step scares you off. i am there too.

while my career might not grant me all i want, i plan on venturing into something that will help me live my dream even if i will still keep at my job. ( i don't have one yet), maybe i don't know how exactly life is 'out there', wait, i am not in high school anymore, i know how it is. i know that there are things you can engage in to help you live to the full, i know money is not the goal of life, it just helps us live, wanting more is okay but being obsessed is not. 

i know it is very okay to want the good life and to pursue it through the designated channels. it is okay to be rich and have some of the finer things in life.who wouldn't want that anyway? i see no hand up. there are no chosen few to live the good life, everyone  has a chance in the race to live a fulfilled life.

let the reason you are not living to the full be  that you have tried all you can and nothing is working, i again don't think our good Lord is that selfish. i plan on living to the full, i have only this life to live, i will be good to those around me, i will work hard to get what i want, if its within my power i will help others get to their goals and follow the good word. so help me God.

go out there and work to live your desired lives without silly excuses why you can't have a fulfilling life. a life of happiness.i do not settle for average.

#notjustsaying

love Carol.

Dear Husband

hey y'all

I had a busy weekend, i worked the 2 days and i am here on Monday. i am not complaining, it was fine. hope you had a great time.
 so with reference to the marriage bill, i know the president is yet to assent and i am writing an honest letter to my hypothetical hubby in the event that it should pass. 

Dear husband,

 Hey hubby, I am at work, I already miss you.sorry the pancakes burnt on my watch and you just took plain milk.  i will make it up to you.

 I am just letting you know on what i should/ will do in the event you want to bring another woman as a co-wife and why i think its a silly game. first, you would have to be crazy to even think of that. much as i don't know what you discuss with the other males, i sure hope the words ' i will bring another woman to my house' do not occur in your mind let alone utter them. of course if you ask the answer is still no. so get comfortable.

I have no idea why confused men use the ' An african man  is naturally polygamous ' excuse to indulge in whatever shenanigans. do you mean to tell me that those with just one wife are abnormal?  if my memory serves me right, when we were dating and even after marriage, you said i was the only one. i know people say stuff that they don't mean but that had better be in the list of all the stuff you mean. In the event craziness gets the better of you, and an equally crazy woman finds her way through guidance from you to our matrimonial home, one of us ladies, will have to find somewhere else to live, it sure wont be me.if there is a persistence, from you two i will walk. i sure am not superglue-tied to you. i however am attached to you.

for the love of God, we are in the 21st Century. polygamy is like a dinosaur for those of us who want to live in the modern world.i am sure that includes you love. I have no idea why those parliamentarians decided to waste their time in deliberating on such a stupid bill. why are some men so hell bent on belittling women? how much do they love it that their daughters are equally subjected to a five- wived house? 

I hope you, my dear husband have the wish to live with me, your only wife. Is that to say that a woman has no say in her marriage? it is now okay for married men to sleep out with other women but its uncouth for me to stay out with friends? its my duty to stay faithful to one man but he can sleep with 3 more? double standards my friend and i hate that bitch.

If there is a wifely duty that i fail to satisfy, just let me know, another mama will not solve the issue, most of the women who are for the idea are elderly, theirs is just to stay at home, clean cook and pro-create, they sure wouldn't mind an extra hand to help out. 

I am in a true society where i want to go out with you, take vacations together, have kids with just one mom and dad,(there is a fear the other one will poison my kids),  come back to you in the evening ( without worrying that the other woman has got to you first) life is already a race, i can't handle more bustle.  

i love you sweetheart, i am happy and content with you as my life partner, it had better be the case for you.

Remember we have a 6 o'clock appointment with the landscape guy.see you then.

oxox
love, wife.

thanks guys for stopping by

#notjustsaying

love carol





 

it is my wish.

hey y'all

I have a confession to make. No, i am not cannibal nor do i stalk people on peepholes. Its more of a wish.

 I wish i had the opportunity to sit in the co-driver's seat, mom or dad on the wheel.
then we would drive around town, discuss the other mad drivers on the road when they make a careless turn, (apparently all drivers are mad) 

we would spot wardrobe malfunctions, wardrobe geniuses, laugh at people whose heels just snapped off, spot the all time hilarious Kenyan behaviour.
 stop to admire something on a countryside road and take all the time we want, stop to buy fruits on a roadside market, stop to pee at my own pleasure, take a peaceful nap when the rain pounded and we are stuck in traffic ( there is no traffic where i come from, even on the rainiest of days), i would not mind carrying a heavy jacket for fear of having to carry it everywhere with me, i would have a chance to carry my favourite CDs to the car, maybe at times fight with my sisters on who chooses the radio station or who hid Who's CD.

 Me and my sisters would sing along loudly to our fave lyrics, i would pressure my parents into incorporating a certain car design, a certain type of rims (yes i know about em rims), on weekends, we would pull the hose-pipe out to have a car wash; then pressure my dad to pay us for saving him a trip to the car-wash. we would do this on a sarturday when the sun is up and play with the water as we turn the whole volume up. when we go to upcountry, we would not mind carrying my granny's half shamba of products.

we still do that, but its not from the comfort of a front car seat.

I don't mind using matatus, i like the passenger dramas  and conductor behaviour.
sometimes i dont mind the blaring music, the common sites of drunk, youth from a night-out, i always avoid sitting next to a mama with 5 kids, or a man who is a Know- it-all on a long distance, or the one who buys everything edible on the road; boiled eggs, boiled maize, roasted maize, sugarcane and beneath his sit is a carton with noisy quails.

I would so much enjoy driving tutorials from dad, they would let me drive and i would panic when i spot highway patrol but would put on a brave show as i  tightly hold onto the wheel, i would give kila mtu a stern look to make sure they buckle-up.

I would borrow the car to go for lunch with friends and dad would joke about me fuelling it, then i would have to charge my friends to cover fuel hehehe. my friends would plead with me to give them a chance at the wheel, i would bore them with safety measures; they would still love me anyway. 

i do not see it as a failure on anyone's part, i see it as a craving that awaits satisfaction. I will work to get an awesome car in future, and i sincerely hope my babies, will savoir the moments.i know i sound like a kid. i am my parents' kid.

*notjustsaying


Thank you for stopping by.


love carol

Thinking aloud

hey y'all

The way the internet is my best friend, i cant get enough of it. it almost always has something new, has a lot of answers for me too; in words, in graphics, in videos.

thanks to it, i got to view lots of fashion blogs, and i gotta say, i'm hooked. as i navigated through the different beautiful sites, i couldn't help thinking why i am not a fashion blogger.
 so here i am; thinking aloud:

why i am not a fashion blogger:

• I am more theoretical than practical. that's to say i have to-die-for designer ideas. and i am auctioning to the highest bidder.
•  to be a successful one, i gotta have killer pics and that calls for a good camera. i have no plans of buying one at the moment.
•  I like to play dress up, but only for occassions. those are few.
• I suffer from impulse buying, as a result, i end up having lots of stuff that i never wear mainly coz i think they are no longer pretty.typical. but that has changed. i am only going to buy stuff that i need. i mean it.
• I like fashion events. I like to attend events just to see peeps in pomp, colour and lovely diverse designs. i am the spectator type. I think i will buy a camera. of course i will. i have to have one. these are those days i feel like i want to be anything cool, a designer, a photographer, a event planner. it comes to me in gushes. 

I know i just stated why i am not a fashion blogger, but right now, right this instance as i write, i feel empowered to. then in the next hour, i will feel like its a lot of work and the gush will clear like mist.

Most times i am my own inspirator, is there such a word? i mean, my own inspiration. maybe i should just post pics and comment on my outfit if just to make others like me relate.

There is something about having a good lens on your hands, the beauty of showcasing beautiful photos, the strength of colour, the....  now i feel like i already own a canon. anyone selling?

Those are my thoughts as i continue to cruise through the fashion blogs. y' all bloggers, keep em coming.

#notjustsaying

love carol

Truths about me

hey y'all

so its a Monday, y'all know how this day sucks. surprisingly, today when i woke up i couldn't wait to get to the office,of course just to blog . that also includes visiting other blogs. my weekend was good. 

I have the urge to write random facts about my preetyself.i got this idea from a therapy session where clients were asked to write what they knew about themselves plus i saw this is a common trend among bloggers.. i am not in therapy.if anything i think i am therapeutic to others, what with all the peeps who seek my advice on personal issues. i am honoured. really. do not stop. 

here goes:

1. I love myself, more so for starting this blog, its therapeutic.

2. I consider myself officially cool for having used the words 'blog' and 'therapeutic' with reference to myself.

3. I have never bought water. I either carry my own or buy a fanta orange ( that's my all time-fave drink).

4. I am not a conformer of social convention. ok, maybe some, but very few.

5. my dream car is the BMW-X6

6.  i do not like soap operas neither is there a specific program that i follow on t.v.

7. i love car-racing video games.i am good at them too.i guess.

8. if my kids ( i don't have any yet) said they were gay, i would drown myself in lava.

9. I have the sweetest boyfriend. i don't think they make em like him anymore .lol.

10. In another life, i would be a designer.

11.  my dream destination is London. Oh London come claim me.and the Tahiti islands.

12. if  i had a British accent i would never shut-up.probably the reason i don't have one.

13. i am not big on idolising but these two always melt my
      heart.



 

Morgan Freeman and Denzel Washington. am crazier about Denzel and Morgan closely comes in Second. and yes, i am very much aware of their age.

14. I hate group discussions kwanza those academic ones.

15. I am a student, a freelance writer and a theoretical business woman( i am yet to materialize) 

16. I cant wait for the day i water-skate. i will literally fly. 

17.  I want a wedding when the time is right. yes, i said it.

18. I don't like teddy bears. i mean they are cute but it just ends there.

19. I have always wanted to play the piano.

20. I am a catholic by choice.

21. Best inspirational books read : becoming a better you by Joel Osteen and Purpose driven life by Rick Warren. i like books that make me feel like i could do anything worth doing and improve my view of life. i also like a couple of Kenyan novels i like. there is a reward for whoever gets me the 
kanina and I ' Novel.

.                       

22. Pork is my ultimate genre of meat.

23. I have always wanted to start an event. i organized my high school re-Union, i believe i can nail a greater event.

24. I am eternally grateful to my body for it allows me to eat anything i want without having to worry about adding weight. (mob love body me)

25. I like learning new stuff.

26. I want to have more out-going friends. 

27. from a self-diagnosis, i suffer from mild-amnesia..someone joked about me holding my own surprise party and suggested having a hand bracelet with my name on it so i don't forget my name. i am now afraid i will.

28. I don't like it when people are too gentle and good with me, it makes me feel indebted to them. i hate that feeling.

29. I like attending occasions, if just for the colour, pomp, fashion, music, happy faces and Fanta orange.

30. I so want a fulfilling future and i wonna be rich.

31. I would like to RENT a yacht and go on a wild cruise with friends.

32. I hate terere and malenge. i still don't understand why the most nutritious foods have to be the worst tasting.

33. My life is not the most thrilling and colourful of lives, but i have never wished i had someone's life. ever. I am totally in love with myself.

34. Photos of happy couples always make me smile.always.

35. i am a strong believer of happiness in relationships. let no one prove me wrong.

36. i like it when people let me be. don't keep pestering me about doing this and not doing that. unless i seek your help or i am being too unreasonable, please please, let me be.thank you.

37. I love my bum. its just the right amount of bum.tihihi.

38.phobias; spiders (shivers), dark tunnels, i hate it when i have to fight for air

39.the sound of machine guns makes me fell like i am in an action-studded movie.i like. in reality i think i would pee my pants were such a gun used in my presence.

40. I make it a life-rule never to regret anything. 

i will add more just as they come.

thank you for making a stop-over.

#notjustsaying

love,carol